| Powder Monkey January 2012 |
Short
Story #5
Story #5
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| Gothca by Roger Campbell |
“Sgt. O’Neal, what a pleasure to see you. Come in.” Shelly was not expecting to
see the police officer when she answered the door.
Ah, nuts, there goes the neighborhood. Sitting in the adjacent living room
watching TV Ward heard everything.
“Evening, Maam. Is he home?”
“Ward, your favorite cop’s here.”
“Tell him to go away.”
“Maam, will you tell him I’m here to warn ya’ll there’s been a number of
robberies in the neighborhood lately.”
Shelly gave the officer two signals. First, not to continue speaking. Second to
step inside the house. O’Neal seemed reluctant to enter the house.
“Don’t come in. I know all about the break ins.” Ward remained focused on his
show.
“How did he– ”
“Sargent, do you really want to ask that question?” Shelly looked doubtingly at
the officer.
“Yes, . . . No . . .Yes, but I’m not sure I want to hear the answer.” Shelly
shook her head as if to say, You don’t want to know. “Besides I know he doesn’t get
involved in normal matters. . . . Maam, we need some help. Four houses so far this
week and no clues. No finger prints, no witnesses, no alarms, nothing. It’s as if the
loot walked on its own. We need help.”
“I’ll talk to him.” Before closing the door Shelly nodded goodbye and gave O’
Neal a big smile. Both knew not to push the matter. At least not in an obviously way.
“Ward– ” Shelly sat down beside him.
“Don’t start.”
“Do you want this house to be broke– ”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes I am. I’ve got lots of expensive jewelry I don’t want to lose.”
“Made them once, can do it again.” Ward shook his head and raised his eye
brows. His eyes did not leave the football game.
“Won’t be the same. There never again will be a first diamond. Plus I don’t like
the idea of our house being violated.”
“Violated? Nuts, I ain’t hearing the end of this until those jerks are nabbed am I?”
His head almost turned away from the game.
Smiling, Shelly crossed her arms and stared at him. Nothing was said.
“You haven’t mentioned the couch.”
She maintained her position.
“If I don’t do something tonight the bed is going to be ice cold, right?”
Her eyes spoke for her.
Women, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
“Alright, tomorrow.”
“Now.”
“And miss the end of this game? No way. Love seeing the Cowboys lose. Relax,
tomorrow while you’re taking the Rolls to work– ”
“We don’t own a Rolls.” Shelly jumped onto his lap as she spoke. “Do we?” Her
head turned toward the kitchen’s garage door.
“It’s in the garage. Don’t get use to it. I’m not going to go down to the court house
and try to explain how an unemployed man, who is not a liberal democrat, can afford a
Rolls Royce. I’m going to turn it back into the Ford– ” He watched her vanish through
the door. When I change the car back it’s going to be the dog house that night. Now
which night do I want to sleep out here on the couch?
#
Ring.
Shelly changed the phone settings so she could hear with her ear plug. “Design
department, Shelly speaking. May I help you.”
“Hon, don’t leave to come home tonight. I’ll meet you there at your office.”
“Wild evening?” A big smile appeared on her face.
“Might be. Just don’t go near the house till I tell you.”
“Ah, something happened I don’t want to hear about?” A frown appeared on her
face.
“House is fine, if you’re a mage.”
“Oh, brother. Ah, are you at home right now. Do I want to ask what you did? ”
“Who’s idea was it for me to trap some crooks?”
“Where are we going for supper?” She shook her head. His idea of fine dining
was not her’s.
“I was thinking about Cisero’s, the one under the glass dome.”
“Naples? I can get off work whenever you can get– ”
“Then put the phone down and slip this on.” Ward held her coat in order to assist
her.
Ah, the pleasure of having a mage for a boy friend. Almost anything I want when
ever I want. Wonder what he did to the house? Am I going to blow my stack? Took me
a month to get the place back in order the last time he played Interior Decorator. But
dinner in Naples? Might be worth it.
#
Slowly the window was raised till it was high enough for a human to pass
through. Covered everywhere in black except the eyes two figures slipped into the
house. One muttered something about the fact the window was unlocked. With red
filters on their flashlights the pair was able to see there way around the house as if the
light were on. Smiling the pair began to look for items of value. Any house that
sported a Rolls had to be loaded with rich goodies needing a new home.
“Oh, did you make a mistake.”
The pair of thieves spun around looking for the rough crackling voice that made
the statement. No one was seen.
“Oh, you can see me.”
Again the pair looked. Again nothing else alive was seen.
“Why must everything be alive?”
One thief reached over and turned on the normal room lights.
“Now you can see me.”
“You’re a bird.” Finally the pair spotted what had been talking to them. In
disbelief they approached what they thought was a parrot, seeming to wonder what to
do with it.
“Course I’m a bird. Geesh, I’m suppose to be the feather head.”
“You can talk like us?”
The bird looked the pair over. “Question ought to be, How are you able to talk
like me?”
One thief aimed his gun at the bird.
“Won’t do that. You’ll just going to piss me off.”
“Not if I splatter you all over that wall.” He took aim as he spoke.
“The home owner ain’t going to be happy with either of us if you did that. Which
you can’t do anyways.” The parrot appeared to grow as he spoke.
“What? Why can’t I blow you away?” He looked at his buddy wondering what
the bird was thinking. Isn’t that bird a lot bigger now than when we first saw it?
“Cause I’m suppose to invite ya’ll to be dinner. Always nice when I don’t have
to hunt for a meal.” The bird rose and spread its wings. It was now as tall as the
humans.
Firing his weapon as he moved one crook started for the living room door. His
movement stopped when his partner was unable to open that door. Suddenly they
heard their entry window slam shut. After a stare of panic the pair ran to the kitchen
door which slammed shut in their face.
“Guys, don’t leave, I’m hungry.” One of its wing smashed the over head light
bulb.
#
Ring.
“Sgt. O’Neal, what a pleasure to see you. Come in.” Shelly was not expecting to
see the police officer when she answered the door.
Ah, nuts, there goes the neighborhood. Sitting in the adjacent living room
watching TV Ward heard everything. Wait a minute. Didn’t I say this once before?
What ever. With O’Neal, I’d say it every time.
“Evening, Maam. Is he home?”
“Ward, your favorite cop’s here.”
“Tell him to go away.” Yeah, Groundhog Day.
“Sir,” The officer entered the house and approached the man sitting in front of the
TV.
Damn, it's another game where the Cowboys were getting beaten. Gotta to stop
this guy from interrupting great games. “What do you want?” Spoken with an, Let’s
get this over with, attitude.
“Look, I don’t know what you got going for yourself.” The cop seemed nervous
as he spoke. “But when you get involved things happen that no one can explain. Hey,
not complaining. You’ve helped more than we can thank you.”
“And your point is?” Ward pointed to the game on the TV.
“I want to thank you for erasing those crooks that was hitting this neighborhood.
Don’t say anything. I know you don’t get involved in normal matters. I don’t actually
know if you had anything to with their disappearance. But I thank you.”
“Why you thanking me if you don’t know if I had anything to do with it?”
“Like I said, things happen when you’re around. Again thanks.” As the later was
said, O’Neal backed towards the door.
“O’Neal, you’re starting to count on me. Don’t. Matters of this world are not
things I want to get involved with. Almost all are things I shouldn’t get involved with.
I will neither confirm or deny whether I have magic as you suspect. It’s none of your
business. Believe me you don’t want to know the answer. But, I will say you will keep
me informed of any activities that you suspect may be of a magical nature.”
O’Neal’s eyes opened wide. He said nothing as he left the house.
“Ward, you might as well have told him you’re a mage.” Shelly was shaking her
head in disbelief.
“O’Neal’s not dumb. If magic was normal for Earth, something that happened
often, he’d have already figured it out. Now what I have to do is figure out how to
control him. How much magic is he to see.”
“Why not show him everything?” Shelly warped her arms around her boy friend.
“Blow his mind. If I wasn’t your other half, I’d never have believed what you’ve
shown me.”
Ward smiled. “Beauty and brains. You never cease to amaze me.”
see the police officer when she answered the door.
Ah, nuts, there goes the neighborhood. Sitting in the adjacent living room
watching TV Ward heard everything.
“Evening, Maam. Is he home?”
“Ward, your favorite cop’s here.”
“Tell him to go away.”
“Maam, will you tell him I’m here to warn ya’ll there’s been a number of
robberies in the neighborhood lately.”
Shelly gave the officer two signals. First, not to continue speaking. Second to
step inside the house. O’Neal seemed reluctant to enter the house.
“Don’t come in. I know all about the break ins.” Ward remained focused on his
show.
“How did he– ”
“Sargent, do you really want to ask that question?” Shelly looked doubtingly at
the officer.
“Yes, . . . No . . .Yes, but I’m not sure I want to hear the answer.” Shelly
shook her head as if to say, You don’t want to know. “Besides I know he doesn’t get
involved in normal matters. . . . Maam, we need some help. Four houses so far this
week and no clues. No finger prints, no witnesses, no alarms, nothing. It’s as if the
loot walked on its own. We need help.”
“I’ll talk to him.” Before closing the door Shelly nodded goodbye and gave O’
Neal a big smile. Both knew not to push the matter. At least not in an obviously way.
“Ward– ” Shelly sat down beside him.
“Don’t start.”
“Do you want this house to be broke– ”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes I am. I’ve got lots of expensive jewelry I don’t want to lose.”
“Made them once, can do it again.” Ward shook his head and raised his eye
brows. His eyes did not leave the football game.
“Won’t be the same. There never again will be a first diamond. Plus I don’t like
the idea of our house being violated.”
“Violated? Nuts, I ain’t hearing the end of this until those jerks are nabbed am I?”
His head almost turned away from the game.
Smiling, Shelly crossed her arms and stared at him. Nothing was said.
“You haven’t mentioned the couch.”
She maintained her position.
“If I don’t do something tonight the bed is going to be ice cold, right?”
Her eyes spoke for her.
Women, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
“Alright, tomorrow.”
“Now.”
“And miss the end of this game? No way. Love seeing the Cowboys lose. Relax,
tomorrow while you’re taking the Rolls to work– ”
“We don’t own a Rolls.” Shelly jumped onto his lap as she spoke. “Do we?” Her
head turned toward the kitchen’s garage door.
“It’s in the garage. Don’t get use to it. I’m not going to go down to the court house
and try to explain how an unemployed man, who is not a liberal democrat, can afford a
Rolls Royce. I’m going to turn it back into the Ford– ” He watched her vanish through
the door. When I change the car back it’s going to be the dog house that night. Now
which night do I want to sleep out here on the couch?
#
Ring.
Shelly changed the phone settings so she could hear with her ear plug. “Design
department, Shelly speaking. May I help you.”
“Hon, don’t leave to come home tonight. I’ll meet you there at your office.”
“Wild evening?” A big smile appeared on her face.
“Might be. Just don’t go near the house till I tell you.”
“Ah, something happened I don’t want to hear about?” A frown appeared on her
face.
“House is fine, if you’re a mage.”
“Oh, brother. Ah, are you at home right now. Do I want to ask what you did? ”
“Who’s idea was it for me to trap some crooks?”
“Where are we going for supper?” She shook her head. His idea of fine dining
was not her’s.
“I was thinking about Cisero’s, the one under the glass dome.”
“Naples? I can get off work whenever you can get– ”
“Then put the phone down and slip this on.” Ward held her coat in order to assist
her.
Ah, the pleasure of having a mage for a boy friend. Almost anything I want when
ever I want. Wonder what he did to the house? Am I going to blow my stack? Took me
a month to get the place back in order the last time he played Interior Decorator. But
dinner in Naples? Might be worth it.
#
Slowly the window was raised till it was high enough for a human to pass
through. Covered everywhere in black except the eyes two figures slipped into the
house. One muttered something about the fact the window was unlocked. With red
filters on their flashlights the pair was able to see there way around the house as if the
light were on. Smiling the pair began to look for items of value. Any house that
sported a Rolls had to be loaded with rich goodies needing a new home.
“Oh, did you make a mistake.”
The pair of thieves spun around looking for the rough crackling voice that made
the statement. No one was seen.
“Oh, you can see me.”
Again the pair looked. Again nothing else alive was seen.
“Why must everything be alive?”
One thief reached over and turned on the normal room lights.
“Now you can see me.”
“You’re a bird.” Finally the pair spotted what had been talking to them. In
disbelief they approached what they thought was a parrot, seeming to wonder what to
do with it.
“Course I’m a bird. Geesh, I’m suppose to be the feather head.”
“You can talk like us?”
The bird looked the pair over. “Question ought to be, How are you able to talk
like me?”
One thief aimed his gun at the bird.
“Won’t do that. You’ll just going to piss me off.”
“Not if I splatter you all over that wall.” He took aim as he spoke.
“The home owner ain’t going to be happy with either of us if you did that. Which
you can’t do anyways.” The parrot appeared to grow as he spoke.
“What? Why can’t I blow you away?” He looked at his buddy wondering what
the bird was thinking. Isn’t that bird a lot bigger now than when we first saw it?
“Cause I’m suppose to invite ya’ll to be dinner. Always nice when I don’t have
to hunt for a meal.” The bird rose and spread its wings. It was now as tall as the
humans.
Firing his weapon as he moved one crook started for the living room door. His
movement stopped when his partner was unable to open that door. Suddenly they
heard their entry window slam shut. After a stare of panic the pair ran to the kitchen
door which slammed shut in their face.
“Guys, don’t leave, I’m hungry.” One of its wing smashed the over head light
bulb.
#
Ring.
“Sgt. O’Neal, what a pleasure to see you. Come in.” Shelly was not expecting to
see the police officer when she answered the door.
Ah, nuts, there goes the neighborhood. Sitting in the adjacent living room
watching TV Ward heard everything. Wait a minute. Didn’t I say this once before?
What ever. With O’Neal, I’d say it every time.
“Evening, Maam. Is he home?”
“Ward, your favorite cop’s here.”
“Tell him to go away.” Yeah, Groundhog Day.
“Sir,” The officer entered the house and approached the man sitting in front of the
TV.
Damn, it's another game where the Cowboys were getting beaten. Gotta to stop
this guy from interrupting great games. “What do you want?” Spoken with an, Let’s
get this over with, attitude.
“Look, I don’t know what you got going for yourself.” The cop seemed nervous
as he spoke. “But when you get involved things happen that no one can explain. Hey,
not complaining. You’ve helped more than we can thank you.”
“And your point is?” Ward pointed to the game on the TV.
“I want to thank you for erasing those crooks that was hitting this neighborhood.
Don’t say anything. I know you don’t get involved in normal matters. I don’t actually
know if you had anything to with their disappearance. But I thank you.”
“Why you thanking me if you don’t know if I had anything to do with it?”
“Like I said, things happen when you’re around. Again thanks.” As the later was
said, O’Neal backed towards the door.
“O’Neal, you’re starting to count on me. Don’t. Matters of this world are not
things I want to get involved with. Almost all are things I shouldn’t get involved with.
I will neither confirm or deny whether I have magic as you suspect. It’s none of your
business. Believe me you don’t want to know the answer. But, I will say you will keep
me informed of any activities that you suspect may be of a magical nature.”
O’Neal’s eyes opened wide. He said nothing as he left the house.
“Ward, you might as well have told him you’re a mage.” Shelly was shaking her
head in disbelief.
“O’Neal’s not dumb. If magic was normal for Earth, something that happened
often, he’d have already figured it out. Now what I have to do is figure out how to
control him. How much magic is he to see.”
“Why not show him everything?” Shelly warped her arms around her boy friend.
“Blow his mind. If I wasn’t your other half, I’d never have believed what you’ve
shown me.”
Ward smiled. “Beauty and brains. You never cease to amaze me.”