Short Story 1
| Powder Monkey March 2010 |
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| One Party Too Many by Tony Rivari |
Wham!
“What the hell’s with you?” Ken grabbed his tray as it bounced up off the
table. Charlie had slammed his tray down hard enough to cause the others to
bounce.
“Sorry about that. It’s that damn XO.”
“Well, take it out on him, not us.” Bill scooped his mashed potatoes back
onto his plate.
“Wish I could. Kamp has to be the biggest jerk I’ve ever worked for.”
“Pass the salt. What’d Old Smiley do this time?” Ken sprinkled a little into
his soda before passing the shaker to Bill.
“You know you’re one sick puppy. Salt in cola?”
“Shut up. Who’s the moron who puts ketchup on his eggs?”
“That’s common where I come from. Now what did the head jerk do this
time? And make it good. We all got complains about that bastard.” Bill put a bit
of salt in his cola. “Huh, not bad. Now talk.”
“We got a port call in Mallorca next week.”
“No kidding Sherlock. We’re all looking forward to that. Charlie, your wife’
s not joining us is she? I like Sara, but she sure screwed up that last port call.
Those babes were hot in many ways.”
“Ah, what’s the matter, Ken, don’t want to cheat on your wife when
another wife could see and report ya?”
“Damn right I don’t. Shut up or I hint to Sara about that Genoa visit.”
“You do and you’re dead. Now what’s the love lost between you and
prince charming?”
“Cute.” Charlie started to cut his steak. “Here, some one else eat it. I’ve
lost my appetite.”He shoved the plate into the center of the table. Three hands
were waiting.
“My guys won that last DC contest. I wanted to do something special for
them. Chief suggested we give them a party on the beach. Sound good to me.
So I took the paperwork up the chain. Going great till I got to the XO.”
“Let me guess. He jumped in your case for wanting to use Welfare and
Rec funds for a non holiday party. Pass me the pickles and some bread. This
steak will make a nice hamburger.”
Charlie passed Bill the pickles and almost threw the bread at him.
“Hamburger? Hell, I should have kept it. How’d you know?”
“Bastard did the same to me during that last Naples visit.”
“Why’s he so protective of that money?” Charlie used his fingers to flick a
pickle across the table. Ken sent right back.
“Cause he’s already spent it.”
Charlie and Bill stopped and looked at Ken.
“There’s no way.” A stunned Charlie remarked.
“That money is only to be used for enlisted functions. There ain’t been one
since we left Jacksonville.” Bill was almost as stunned as his friend.
“Yipe.” Ken remarked as he flicked a peanut towards Bill.
“Okay, genius. What do you know?” Charlie asked as Bill nodded.
Ken looked around to see who was listening. Satisfied only his friend
could hear him he continued.
“”Who’s the W&R Officer on this ship?”
Charlie and Bill looked at each other then shrugged their shoulders.
“I am. Old Man appointed me back in Mayport. Did it in writing. I’ve got to
sign any papers reporting the usage of any of that money.”
“That’s how you know its all spent?” Charlie asked.
“He used almost every penny for that party the airdales enjoyed in
Singapore. You didn’t wonder how the pilots were able to afford all that
champagne and carvier?”
“You sure?” Charlie finally asked.
“Signed the check myself.”
“Why don’t you report him?” Bill asked.
“To who? The Captain and Admiral are both airdales and were at the
party. Those drunks are going to protect their fellow drunks.”
“What party?” asked another officer as he joined the group.
“Will? What the hell you doing here. Get assigned?” Ken reached out to
offer his hand for a handshake. Will was an old school friend.
“No. Just crossing. Catching a helo later for a jump over to the Muscogee.
Pass the salt will ya. This soda is flat.”
“Why the Muscogee? Heard it’s a good ship. No problems.”
“Rumors can be misleading.” Will spit his potatoes out. “How the hell do
ya’ll eat this crap?”
“Buddy, you’ve been shore based too long. This is Friday, surf and turf.
Good stuff. Now what’s happening over there?”
“XO’s headed to Leavenworth. Got his hand caught in the cookie jar.
Used W&R fund for entertaining officers. Collecting statements for the trail.”
Three officers stared at each other and smiled.
“Ah, would you like another case?” Ken asked.
“What the hell’s with you?” Ken grabbed his tray as it bounced up off the
table. Charlie had slammed his tray down hard enough to cause the others to
bounce.
“Sorry about that. It’s that damn XO.”
“Well, take it out on him, not us.” Bill scooped his mashed potatoes back
onto his plate.
“Wish I could. Kamp has to be the biggest jerk I’ve ever worked for.”
“Pass the salt. What’d Old Smiley do this time?” Ken sprinkled a little into
his soda before passing the shaker to Bill.
“You know you’re one sick puppy. Salt in cola?”
“Shut up. Who’s the moron who puts ketchup on his eggs?”
“That’s common where I come from. Now what did the head jerk do this
time? And make it good. We all got complains about that bastard.” Bill put a bit
of salt in his cola. “Huh, not bad. Now talk.”
“We got a port call in Mallorca next week.”
“No kidding Sherlock. We’re all looking forward to that. Charlie, your wife’
s not joining us is she? I like Sara, but she sure screwed up that last port call.
Those babes were hot in many ways.”
“Ah, what’s the matter, Ken, don’t want to cheat on your wife when
another wife could see and report ya?”
“Damn right I don’t. Shut up or I hint to Sara about that Genoa visit.”
“You do and you’re dead. Now what’s the love lost between you and
prince charming?”
“Cute.” Charlie started to cut his steak. “Here, some one else eat it. I’ve
lost my appetite.”He shoved the plate into the center of the table. Three hands
were waiting.
“My guys won that last DC contest. I wanted to do something special for
them. Chief suggested we give them a party on the beach. Sound good to me.
So I took the paperwork up the chain. Going great till I got to the XO.”
“Let me guess. He jumped in your case for wanting to use Welfare and
Rec funds for a non holiday party. Pass me the pickles and some bread. This
steak will make a nice hamburger.”
Charlie passed Bill the pickles and almost threw the bread at him.
“Hamburger? Hell, I should have kept it. How’d you know?”
“Bastard did the same to me during that last Naples visit.”
“Why’s he so protective of that money?” Charlie used his fingers to flick a
pickle across the table. Ken sent right back.
“Cause he’s already spent it.”
Charlie and Bill stopped and looked at Ken.
“There’s no way.” A stunned Charlie remarked.
“That money is only to be used for enlisted functions. There ain’t been one
since we left Jacksonville.” Bill was almost as stunned as his friend.
“Yipe.” Ken remarked as he flicked a peanut towards Bill.
“Okay, genius. What do you know?” Charlie asked as Bill nodded.
Ken looked around to see who was listening. Satisfied only his friend
could hear him he continued.
“”Who’s the W&R Officer on this ship?”
Charlie and Bill looked at each other then shrugged their shoulders.
“I am. Old Man appointed me back in Mayport. Did it in writing. I’ve got to
sign any papers reporting the usage of any of that money.”
“That’s how you know its all spent?” Charlie asked.
“He used almost every penny for that party the airdales enjoyed in
Singapore. You didn’t wonder how the pilots were able to afford all that
champagne and carvier?”
“You sure?” Charlie finally asked.
“Signed the check myself.”
“Why don’t you report him?” Bill asked.
“To who? The Captain and Admiral are both airdales and were at the
party. Those drunks are going to protect their fellow drunks.”
“What party?” asked another officer as he joined the group.
“Will? What the hell you doing here. Get assigned?” Ken reached out to
offer his hand for a handshake. Will was an old school friend.
“No. Just crossing. Catching a helo later for a jump over to the Muscogee.
Pass the salt will ya. This soda is flat.”
“Why the Muscogee? Heard it’s a good ship. No problems.”
“Rumors can be misleading.” Will spit his potatoes out. “How the hell do
ya’ll eat this crap?”
“Buddy, you’ve been shore based too long. This is Friday, surf and turf.
Good stuff. Now what’s happening over there?”
“XO’s headed to Leavenworth. Got his hand caught in the cookie jar.
Used W&R fund for entertaining officers. Collecting statements for the trail.”
Three officers stared at each other and smiled.
“Ah, would you like another case?” Ken asked.